Clearing the Pessimistic Parent Voice

By | March 28, 2017

Recently I was chatting with a friend about tapping to clear some inner blockages that seemed to have roots going all the way back to childhood. My friend, let’s call her Becky, had been stuck at a certain level in her career and she was unable to progress beyond it.

Her income had been the same for the past ten years and she couldn’t figure out why. Becky is a freelance graphic designer and does beautiful work, but despite all of her efforts to obtain more clients and grow her business, circumstances always seemed to work against her. If she managed to sign on one new client, another client would drop off the radar.

Becky knew that something within her was responsible for her seeming inability to earn more from her work. We went through some hypothetical scenarios and Becky tuned in to her feelings, waiting for an insight to jump out at her.

Finally she said she might know what is causing it.

Becky told me that her mother had always been pessimistic and held a “doom and gloom” attitude about many things. When Becky was excited about setting a new goal or trying something new, her mother would say doubtfully, “Oh, but very few people are able to do that…maybe you should aim a little lower to start…you probably won’t be able to earn much in that kind of career…that type of thing has a high rate of failure…”

No matter what Becky wanted to do, her mother would have some dire warnings or “doom and gloom” comments about it.

Becky and I are both aware that her mother was probably just trying to protect her daughter from disappointment by tempering Becky’s enthusiasm – no malice was involved.

However, whether it was intentional or not, her mother’s comments created a mental loop in Becky’s subconscious mind of pessimism and doubt whenever she attempted to do anything to better herself, further her career, try something new, and so on.

I told Becky that she needs to do some heavy-duty tapping to clear out that old “pessimistic parent” voice if she wants to grow her business or succeed in anything. What’s happening is that Becky tries to expand her career and increase her income, and then that old, inner voice pipes up and says, “Oh, but you probably won’t be able to…not many people can earn a good income in your line of work…”

No wonder she can’t make any progress!

If you think this might be a blockage for you too, if you have an old “pessimistic parent” loop playing in your mind, here’s what I told Becky to do, and the same steps should help you as well:

1) Identify your goal

Choose something you want to accomplish. In Becky’s case, she wants to grow her business and increase her income. Be specific about exactly how many clients you want to have, how much money you want to earn, how much weight you want to lose, and so on. Write down your specific goal on a sheet of paper. “I want to…”

2) Listen to your body’s signals

Now read that statement back to yourself and pay attention to your body as you do. What do you notice? Any uncomfortable feelings coming up? Do you feel a sinking feeling in your stomach, a fluttering or tension in your chest? Feeling heavy like you’re trying to move through mud? Notice the feelings that come up and jot them down.

3) Tap, tap, tap!

Tap while focusing on those feelings in your body. Example:

Karate Chop: “Even though I have this sinking feeling in my gut, I love and accept myself. Even though I can still hear my mother telling me all of the reasons why I can’t be successful, I forgive her and myself. Even though I feel so stuck and I can’t move forward, I honor my feelings.”

Then tap through the points: “This sinking feeling in my gut. I can’t move forward. I’ll never earn $XXX from my career. It’s too hard. Not many people can do it…”

As you tap, try to actually hear your parent saying the pessimistic words like Becky did: “Oh, I don’t know if that’s a good idea…You might not be able to do it…What if you fail?…What if it’s too hard…”

Keep tapping until those feelings dissolve.

Then tune in to your goal again. “I want to…”

Does anything else come up? Feelings in your body? Memories of something that happened in the past? Previous failures? Hurtful or doubtful comments by well-intending friends or loved ones?

Tap, tap, tap until you clear them!

You may need to repeat this exercise daily until you have cleared everything out completely, but WOW, what a difference you will feel when you have finished!

Becky has been keeping me updated on her progress and she has already had three new clients approach her out of the blue! She is clearing the inner resistance that was blocking them before, and she’s so excited!

It’s truly amazing how much our own inner blockages, beliefs, fears, doubts, and more can hold us back. The subconscious mind is a powerful thing.

Wishing you great success in everything you do! 🙂

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